The Zoo Job Story
One day a clown was visiting the zoo and attempted to earn some money by making a street performance. He acted and mimed perfectly some animal acts. As soon as he started to drive a crowd, a zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office. The zoo keeper explained to the clown that the zoo's most popular gorilla had died suddenly and the keeper was fear that attendance at the zoo would fall off. So he offered the clown a job to dress up as the gorilla until the zoo could get another one. The clown accepted this great opportunity.
So the next morning the clown put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage before the crowd came. He felt that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, played and made fun of people and he drove bigger crowds than he ever did as a clown. He pretended the gorilla successfully.
However, eventually the crowds were tired of him for just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he decided to make a spectacular performance. He climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd people loved it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper came and gave him a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this went on for some time, he kept taunting the lion, the audience crowd grew a larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day happened. When he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell into the lion cage. The clown was really in big terrible situation. He was terrified.
Sooner the lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The clown was so scared. He could do nothing and he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close and closer behind. Finally, the lion could catch him. The clown started screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion was quick and pounces. The clown soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and suddenly he heard a voice from the lion’s mouth;"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?
Abu Nawas and the King Aaron
The king wanted to test Abu Nawas’ smartness. So he invited Abu Nawas to the palace. “You want me, your Majesty?” greeted Abu Nawas. “Yes, you have fooled me three times and that’s too much. I want you to leave the country. Otherwise you will have to go to jail” said the king. “If that is what you want, I will do what you said” said Abu Nawas sadly. Then “Remember, from tomorrow you may not step on the ground of this country anymore” the king said seriously. Then Abu nawas left the king palace sadly.
The following morning the king ordered his two guards to go to Abu Nawas’ house. The guards were very surprised found Abu Nawas still in his house. He had not left the country yet. Instead leaving the country, Abu Nawas was swimming in small pool in front of his house. “Hey Abu Nawas, why haven’t you left this country yet? The king ordered you not to step on the ground of this country anymore, didn’t he?” said the guards. “Sure he did” answered Abu Nawas calmly. “But look at me! Do I step on the ground of this country? No, I do not step on the ground. I am swimming on the water” continued Abu Nawas.
The guards were not able to argue with Abu Nawas so they left Abu Nawas’ house and went back to the palace. The guards reported what they had seen to the king. The king was curious on Abu Nawas’ excuse not to leave the country. Therefore the king ordered his guard to call Abu Nawas to come to the palace.
Abu Nawas came to the palace on stilts. The king wondered and said “Abu, I will surely punish you because you haven’t done what I have said. You have not left this country”. The King continued “And now, look at you. You walk on stilts like a child. Are you crazy? The king pretended to be furious.
“I remember exactly what you said, Your Majesty” Abu Nawas answered calmly. “This morning I took a bath in the small pool in my house so that I had not to step on the ground. And since yesterday, I have been walking on this stilts. So you see, Your Majesty, I do not step on the ground of this country”. The king was not able to say anything.
Weight Loss Program Story
A man wanted to get the best and most defective weight loss program so he called a company and ordered a 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there’s a knocked on the door and there stand before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe. She dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes. She introduced herself as a representative of the weight loss company. A sign was around her neck. The sign read, “If you can catch me, you can have me.” So without a second thought, he took off after her. However, a few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gave up. The next four days, the same girl showed up for and the same thing happened. On the fifth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to find he had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He felt satisfied and called the company and ordered the 5-day/20 pound program.The next day, there was a knock at the door and there stand the most stunning and beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. She was wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes. The sign around her neck that read, “If you catch me you can have me.” Well, he was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was in excellent shape and he did his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happened with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighed himself, he discovered that he had lost another 20 lbs. as promised. Again he felt satisfied with that program.
Then he decided to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. “Are you sure?” asks the representative on the phone. “This is our most rigorous program.” He replied;”Absolutely,I haven’t felt this good in years.” So the next day there was a knock at the door. When he opened it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes. The sign around his neck that read,”If I catch you, you are mine!!!”
Loving Money Too Much
There was a man who liked money very much. He worked all of his life and wanted to save all of his money for his own future. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.
Even, just before he died, he said to his wife; "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he asked his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day, he really died. Then he was stretched out in the casket. The wife was sitting there in black clothes next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"
She had a box in her hands. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. After that the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Not long after that, her friend said, "I hope you were not crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
The wife turned to her friend and replied; "Yes, because I have promised." Then she continued; "I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." Feeling shocked, her friend said; "You mean that you have put every cent of his money in the casket with him?" Then the wife answered; "Surely I did. I got it all together, put all the money into my account and I just wrote him a check."
